Mother's Day and Motherhood

 I once heard the definition of a Mother described as the following: Mother noun. A person with the ability to detect a lie, hear the smallest noises, and see out of the back of their head. The Urban Dictionary's definition is: The woman won loves you unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her kids before herself, and the one who you can always count on above everyone else.  THAT definition seems much more spot on, not that the other one didn't, because you all know that one is true too. 

Motherhood is also the best job in the world. You don't realize that until you are one. 

Tomorrow is Mother's Day, the day where we celebrate our mother's and everything they have done for us, still do for us, and hope they do for us in the future. This mother's day is especially close to me because this year is the first year that I'll be away from my mother on Mother's Day, AND I'm a mother myself. Mother's Day takes on a whole new role when this happens to a mother. Right now I'm lucky enough to still have a mother that is alive and well; I don't want to imagine how I will feel when that is no longer the case. Mothers, for most daughters, they are their first line of defense, the first telephone call, and the last I love you in a telephone conversation.

Being a mother, if you aren't one yet, takes a special kind of person. We hope and pray everyday that we are doing the right thing, and that we aren't screwing up our kids in the process. I'll let everyone in on a little secret that NO one tells you before you become a mother…the rest of us mothers, we are TOTALLY winging this mothering thing. So hopefully that little secret will take a lot of pressure off of you thinking that we've got this parenting thing down pat. With the first baby, ALL mothers first thought is, "OH HELL!" All shit breaks loose, and you feel like you are losing your ever lovin' mind! No joke, it's true, ask any new mother of their first child. Then if you are brave enough, or dumb enough in some cases, to decide you want a second child then the game changes again. 

Speaking from experience, the first child and the second child are NEVER alike, it's not a judgement, just consider it a warning. That ladle dipped into the genetic pool never comes up with the same personality twice in a row. Usually they are opposites…and it will drive you bat shit crazy! Then if you are like us, with three kids, the game changes even more. 

With three children you go quickly from man on man to playing zone. It's gets tricky, but you can do it. There is a fine line between absolutely NUTS, and being parents to three children. You really have to be a "special" kind of crazy to take on that role, but with your third child you take on another title too that no one tells you either. You become a professional parent. A professional parent is like getting your masters in parenting. You've lived thru the sleepless poop filled nights, and have survived to fight not only another day, but this time you become the parent that when their kid is eating dirt, instead of freaking out, your usual thought becomes, "Oh it must be getting close to lunch time." You've mastered the signals. Go forth and prosper, and get your kid some lunch.

Should you ever choose to have more than one child, my one and only prayer to you is this. I pray, in all sincerity, that you have a wonderful partner to walk with you thru life. I pray you chose wisely in your pick of parenting partner. They will make, or break some of your memories with your children. Mothering is stressful enough in its own right, I pray you go thru it with someone who is there to help you raise your children to be the best versions of themselves they can be. I have the UTMOST respect for single parents doing it all on their own. If you are a single parent, you are brave souls, and I give you my sincerest kudos to you, and everything you do for your child/children.

If it weren't for my mother, I definitely would not be the mother I am today. Hell, I wouldn't be the person I am today without her guidance. My parents have definitely moulded me into the person I needed to be to become the parent that I am today. My mother is amazing! She always has our best interest at heart, even though sometimes we don't want to hear it. Even at 37, I still do the internal eye roll sometimes. That stuff doesn't go away with age, but seriously without her asking the HARD questions, and making us question our decisions on why we do things the way we do; those acts of love have made my sister and I better mothers. It's totally true, you can't fake experience, and my mother has it in spades! 

My mother is a wonderful Grammie! She loves her grandchildren, and relishes the time she gets to spend with them when she's here to visit. She wishes that we all lived closer, but right now that isn't in the cards, so we make do with weekly Skype sessions that the kids just love. I love that my mother has so much to teach my girls, and Liam. She's a font full of  knowledge that they wouldn't be able to get just anywhere. She has so much to teach them, and I pray that they listen, and heed what she tells them. 

I pray that my children know that they are SO lucky to be so blessed with the grandparents that they have! Both my parents, and Mitch's parents are wonderful grandparents, and we are very lucky to have all of them around so that our children get the best of both sides! 

I too am blessed to have such a wonderful Mother-in-law as well. She really is a very special lady who has done so much for our family. She too, is a font of knowledge that I pray my children also listen to, and learn many great things from. She has raised my husband to be a wonderful man, who has turned into a wonderful husband, and father. For that I am eternally grateful! He makes my life a million times easier than it could have been. That makes all the difference in the world! Thank you Judy for all that you do for us and our children! 

To Claire,

This Mother's Day I want to tell you that YOU, my child, are my mini-me. In you I finally got a daughter that is a total Mommy's Girl! I didn't realize how much I wanted that until you. You are so very loved, and because of you I am the mother I was meant to become. You have balanced me out. You are my Gemini twin.

To Soph,

This Mother's Day I want to tell you that YOU are my Sunshine! You bring sunshine, a spark of madness, and weirdness wherever you go. Because of you in my life I have laughter, and I now know what true sweetness is. You are precious beyond measure. I know with you, that you will always be comfortable sharing your weirdness with me, and I will love you for it forever! There is never a dull moment with you, and you bring the laughter into my day. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree; you get that from your Popi.

To Roo,

Good Lord Child, where to start…YOU are the amazing embodiment of all things good in the world. You have a tenaciousness like no other, you strive to be the best at anything you are interested in, and I am amazed everyday by your sweet nature. You will go places, do many wonderful, and beautiful deeds in this world, making it a much better place then what you came into. You are an amazing daughter and  any mother would be proud to call you her own. Don't take yourself too seriously, you may lose your spark, go forth, and do good things.

To My Girls:

I wish you enough

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how grey the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

(The copyright for this poem belongs to the author: Bob Perkins)

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers celebrating tomorrow!