Growing up it wasn’t a far stretch to label me as a tomboy. I was a true tomboy in all sense of the word. I had a couple of friends. I was introverted, and I didn’t fit in well with the other girls. You could find me outside any given day playing soccer, digging in the dirt, searching for rocks, playing in the woods, climbing trees, riding bikes, reading books, hanging from the swing set or playing tennis by myself off a back board behind the Columbia Library. I wanted a pickup truck or a motorcycle as my first mode of transportation and dreamed of being one of the Lost Boys. Funny how growing up and getting married can change a girl.
When Mitch and I were dating and decided that we were going to get married I told him that I wanted boys; like I had a choice in the matter. Boys were easier, boys were less drama filled, and I bet him that boys whined less and required less work in the hair department. Someone told me somewhere in my travels that boys were harder in the beginning, but if you raised them right there wouldn’t be much work once they got into their teen years. On the flip side that girls were less work when they were younger and more drama filled and whiney the older they got. I don’t remember who gave me this sage description of the difference in raising boys vs. girls, but now I’m thinking that not every child fits into that mold…not.even.close.
When Mitch and I found out that we were pregnant with Roo we decided that we weren’t going to find out the gender of the baby. Looking back on that decision, after having my three girls, I’m thinking there’s a reason why it might be better NOT to find out. Mitch chalks it up as, “the last great surprise.” I think he was on to something there. We decided to find out with Soph, and with Claire, and I was sorely disappointed. I won’t lie, I REALLY wanted a boy. After having my three girls, I figured out that it’s less of a disappointment when they put this beautiful new bundle of joy into your arms. All that anticipation, frustration and disappointment melts away and never surfaces again. It’s the total truth; ask any mother…it doesn’t matter after they arrive. You can’t change it, and after you live with your little bundle of joy, get to truly know them, you wouldn’t want your life to be any different than the way it actually turned out!
Now that my daughters are getting older and starting to come into their own personalities I’ve come to realize that girls can do anything that boys can do. They can play soccer, get dirty in the mud like boys do, and they have the same kind of aspirations like becoming an American Ninja Warrior! The only true difference is what door they choose to go into to use the restroom. I’ve seen some boys be total drama queens and some little girls not make a fuss about much. I’ve learned it’s the temperament of each child that is different. We put a lot of stereo types on girls vs. boys. My girls sometimes fit into those stereotypes, but not all of them, and not all the time. This “tomboy” mom is THANKFUL for that.
God gave us girls. My mom has told me that it’s because God knew I needed softening. My edges were too rough, too hard, and needed to be rounded. “Girls will round you out Kev.” Funny enough, the old saying holds true on this one that my mom was right. I can laugh about it now. I wasn’t too keen on the idea when we had that chat. Now that Claire is growing up so quickly, and coming truly into her own spirited personality, she’s as tenacious as any little boy. Soph is just as rough and tumble as any little boy I’ve ever been around, and Roo, well she rocks the girl card to the fullest! God help us with all of our girls. They have their “girl” tendencies for sure and they will help round me out some more as they get older. I’ve even noticed a change in my own personality when it comes to dealing with others. My girls have given me that gift. Without my girls and being married to Mitch I would be harsher, less rubber band like in my interactions. God gives us what we need and obviously I needed some serious rounding! I can’t say that motherhood has been easy on my psyche. I’ve had to tear down all my preconceived notions and start on a new foundation. It takes courage to raise children, boys or girls. Being a parent changes the way we live, the way we think, and it should. Now that I’m a professional parent I can look back and laugh at how much we’ve all grown as a family.
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| My wildly expressive middle! |
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| My over achieving oldest |
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| My runner of a third! |
What my girls have taught me:
Just because I’m a “Tom mom” doesn’t mean I can’t dress up once in a while.
Being FABULOUS is a frame of mind.
Impromptu singing, even at the dinner table, makes any moment better.
A child’s laughter lifts the most down trodden spirit.
My daughter’s memory is like a steel trap! You can’t get anything past her.
Baby hugs and kisses are just plain AWESOME! Try one you won’t be disappointed.
Toothless grins make cutting teeth bearable.
Rocking a baby at O’dark thirty is well worth being up because you’ll never get that moment back.
Sometimes you have to do it by yourself (even if there is someone there who could help you).
Trust our instincts for you can’t find all of the answers in a book.
Trying to discipline without laughing is harder than you think.
Playing with your children is more important than having your laundry done and your house clean.
Being adaptable in any situation is paramount!
We do make a difference, they do listen, and they will mimic.
You can be a good example or a bad example, choose wisely.
Sometimes parents need a time out too.
Winging it is not always a bad thing!
Be your true honest self, the people who love you will always love you, no matter what.
